A Friendship Letter

The day you left, you took a piece of my heart; a piece I don’t think I will ever get back. My heart’s been breaking in two; forget that. It’s been breaking into a million pieces.

When we get to see each other again, it feels weird and awkward. I fell so hard; hard enough that it’s been so difficult to pick myself up off the ground.

I don’t know what I expected to happen. I always said that our relationship wouldn’t change, but it has. I feel lost without you. I feel as if I won’t ever find another friend like you. I was changed by you and now that you’re gone, I will never be the same.

I am hesitant around others and even hesitant around you. I don’t want to hurt like this again. As much as I want to “get away” to stop feeling like this, the pain follows me wherever I go.

Just when I thought I was getting over the fact that you’re gone, that tear in my heart is opened even more than the last time I was hurting. I do a lot of things to try and forget you, but just the thought of you brings back all those memories we made. In fact, everything I do makes me think of you!

How crazy am I? It will never be the same again and it really saddens me because I really miss what we shared.

Maybe I am just a fool for feeling the way I do, thinking this way, and acting like this. I just want to forget so maybe I won’t hurt so bad. I have been depressed since you left.

I know I am not my old self anymore. I don’t know how to get “me” back. I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want life to happen. I just want what we had back.

I cry for no real reason almost every day now. I cry for what was. I cry for lost loves. I cry over missed time. I cry over years passed and birthdays gone. I just cry.

I know this sounds like a “relationship” letter, but it is about a friendship that was lost. A friendship that made my world go round. A friendship that helped to define who I was. A friendship I will never find in anyone else again. A friendship that allowed me to fully and freely live. A friendship that I will always long to have back. A friendship that I waited forever to have, but one that was fleeting in time.